Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

A recent picture of Moi!

Well the above picture is as recent as it gets. clicked on 26 Feb, 2011 (Saturday) when we all went out to a mall. I am just busy reading the menu, when my brother clicked it with his SLR.

You might be wondering why am blabbering about things, which hardly make sense to you. But Trust me, it does to me.

I read my own freakishly depressing blog, before taking up this tag. Am so glad that I have locked the blog from public view, but some memories are too good and create a smile on a dry day. My hope is that this tag will too, atleast 2 years from now :-)

15 interesting facts about Moi!

1. I read excessively. I read a minimum of 8 to 10 books a month. Maybe due to the quantity I loose out on the author / book name. The fact is I don't care to read the name / author as long as the book is interesting. :)
2. I have an impressive memory power, which am forever grateful to.
3. I always worry myself sick, if people close to me take time to respond (Includes my mom not picking up the call, when I call from work). I have the imagination of the worst kind.
4. I like to lead. People, Conversations, Projects. You Name it!
5. I am highly authoritative and obsessively controlling. (Just the closest few bare the brunt)
6. I chew on my fingernails and/or break my knuckles when am tensed.
7. I cannot for the life of me be idle. I need a book/ game or something to occupy me all the time.
8. My morale/ confidence can go from extremely low to overtly high in minutes. Sadly, it works vice versa too :P
9. I am very short tempered. But don't hold grudges.
10. I can forgive very easily.
11. I crave for security in my life.
12. I am super sensitive.
13. I never cry in front of people. (However close!)
14. I tell a lot of white lies.
15. I miss my dad more than I have ever admitted or expressed. I always feel life has been hugely unfair to me.

31 Day Challenge

Well well, looks like someone who vanished without a trail is back and this time for good. No more crap about the depressions, enmity, confusions , self accusations or any of the sort!

This is me rejuvenated and all good to go! :-D

And what better way to start than a month long TAG. As i blog hopped to some of my old favorites, who are actively blogging, while me the couch potato stares stupefied, i decided I might as well take up the challenge of the 31 day Tag from Annie's blog.

Wait n Watch for action in this blog :)

Challenge:

Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 02 - The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 03 - A picture of you and your friends.
Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn't have?
Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 06 - Favorite super hero and why?
Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 08 - Short term goals for this month and why?
Day 09 - Something you’re proud of in the past few days.
Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
Day 11 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 12 - Your favorite season and why.
Day 13 - Your views on drugs, alcohol and religion.
Day 14 - A picture of you and your family.
Day 15 - Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play?
Day 16 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why?
Day 18 - Plans/dreams/goals you have?
Day 19 - Your earliest memory.
Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future?
Day 21 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 22 - A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 23 - A letter to someone who hurt you?
Day 24 - Nicknames you have & why do you have them?
Day 25 - What I would find in your bag?
Day 26 - Something you crave for a lot?
Day 27 - What you think about your friends?
Day 28 - A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30 - Your first love.
Day 31 - Who are you?

An attempt since very long and blue ones are easier to pen!

Myriad of emotions,
breaching the tranquility!

Faded memories beckon,
a desire to bolt from sanity
before the surrender...
the heart murmurs a plea, before
relinquishing under empowerment

The forgotten memories dazzle
choking, engulfing the serenity.
surreality steps in
The pain, the agony, the misery,
as stark as the day gone by
the vivid imagination splatters
to knock on the deep doors of misery
anticipation to desperation
the scales are high to pay
the climax threatening,
to engulf, to absorb

the shattering heart breaks
the shrieking sounds pale...

The Fear of reminiscing the agony
unbearable pain surges
as the memories avoided
gather up to mock, to taunt
the existence of the tattered soul!

Can the Past never Die?

It hurts, it hurts, it HURTS…

I thought, I believed, I hoped beyond hope

That time heals the deepest scars

But boy! Was I wrong??

It hurts, it hurts, it HURTS…

Why is it hard to take?

Why is it harder to digest?

The FACT that you are no more!

It hurts, it hurts, it HURTS…

I always felt that you were around,

But today I feel all alone

Lonely and scared

It hurts, it hurts, it HURTS…

Why did I not realize?

Why did I not reciprocate?

Why did I not know?

It hurts, it hurts, it HURTS…

The reality is sore,

Take me away,

Hug me, cradle me, touch me

It hurts, it hurts, it HURTS…

I want to touch

I want to feel

I want to see...

It hurts, it hurts, it HURTS…

Can I again have,

The comforting hand?

The soothing voice?

The selfless love?

It hurts, it hurts, it HURTS...

The memory scorches more that ever

The pain is never ending

The feeling of hopelssness…

The feeling of lonliness…

The feeling of fondness…

It hurts, it hurts, it HURTS...

He was off to the latest blind date. He dabs some perfume and looks at the mirror, just a glance. He walks swiftly with strong strides to reach the other end of the room to retrieve his wallet and car keys. He would be damned if the girl was JUST another pretty face. He trusted his friend, but off lately since his marriage, he has been trying to hook him up with every possible girl. He knew it was time to settle down. He was ready. A prestigious job, along with his dark muscular frame, not to forget the bank balance, made him an ideal candidate for most girls. But he wanted something more. What was it, he never knew! still he was confident to find it out soon. As he went out, the sun shone brightly, momentarily glazing his view. What a bright sunny evening he thought, as he glided into the leather seats of his sleek sports car. His mind was blank. No anticipation anymore he thought to himself. If it is supposed to happen, it will happen with HER.

She was nervous. She was not the one to go on a blind date. Her best friend has insisted knowing she rarely took time out for herself. Her words echoed in her mind, as she tried on the outrageously revealing gown. "He is one saucy dish. am sure you wont regret the date even if it did not go ahead" She never had time to buy clothes that would fit for occasions. She was in good shape, yet she felt so uncomfortable in the deep neckline of the gown. She decided to change. Oh dear god it is just a date, why am I getting paranoid, she mentally scolded herself and reached out for her comfortable jeans. She saw the kurta sent by her mom on her dressing table. Not too classy but comfortable. she quickly showered and changed. The mascara, lip gloss was all she needed for work. Now she added the lipstick and eye liner. She took out the ear rings, she preferred the long ones. It suits me, she thought with a smile. There was a knock on the door.

My Attempt at Fiction:: Will the Pain go away?

She sat looking at the older woman, in the couch which had seen better years. There was a coffee stain at one edge which appeared fainter but bigger due to the attempts of cleaning, there was a few stitches cleverly crafted in the cushions to make it look like designs rather than torn out parts. She remembered the day it was brought, it was on her 9th birthday. It looked so new and shiny. It could accommodate the constant praises of all people and the weight which it bore gracefully. She could now this second, relate the couch to the older woman, who had been as graceful years back. Now there were lines on her near perfect face. There were scars which could never be healed in her mind. Yet, she was always ready to give and share. Her love astonished her.

Now as she sat there thinking, how is she going to reveal herself of the pain. She knew talking to her would help. But if there was something eating her mind, she knew her MOM would be glad to hear and sort it for her. But this was terrible. Every living second she was being eaten by millions of cells. It was not the Physical pain of the disease but the metal agony of the news she received which had shattered her. The reports declared adinoma carcinoma. And her life had changed that day. Now she wanted to reach out to the older woman and hug her. Will the pain go away?

Dead Inside!

I am broken and lost!
I went on for years, without breaking apart
Belling my inward cowardice;
Fear of rejection, fear of failure
Made me mould my mask
Smoothening till perfection
A clone was born to taunt me;

Clone but well trained
Laughed when I cried inside
Soothed and consoled souls aplenty
While I am dying away inside
Creating an identity
While overshadowing mine!

Life seemed easier;
As people started preferring the clone
Over the shattered soul.
The mask tightened over myself
Burying me deeper

I cried out for release
I cried out for my soul
As days passed by
I became feeble and weak
My elastic limit stretched
I lay motionless, and incapable
As the clone was conquering

Now as love turns into misery,
The clone drifts far away. and
Amidst the rage of emotions
Tearing me apart, I try to
Peek a little at my dry life
Only to realize
Am dead inside!